When we consider our rights, we normally mean official, legal rights that we have as citizens. But that’s not all we have; besides these, every person has a set of non-official, personal rights that protect them from interference, exploitation and disrespect. Though we cannot resort to legal protection of these rights, we can establish boundaries and defend ourselves, our personal space and time, and other aspects of our existence.
Personal Rights We All Have
We all want respect from others, but the roots of all problems are that we sometimes forget to respect ourselves. How to achieve the desired attitude from others? It’s high time to refuse from bad habits and remember that you have the right to:
- Think of yourself first
- Ask for help and emotional support
- Contest wrong attitude and unsubstantiated criticism
- Make mistakes
- Refuse to help others if you have no time or wish to do so
- Say, “no, thank you”
- Ignore others’ advice
- Spend some time in solitude
- Have your own feelings
- To change your mind.
Remember: people see us through the prism of our self-perception, so if you don’t establish reasonable boundaries, you shouldn’t expect respect or consideration.
Things You Don’t Have to Do If You Don’t Want to
Many of us were raised with an idea that we have to be kind, helpful, and responsive to others – that’s the basis of good upbringing and politeness. In addition, parents told us that if we give something, we will be rewarded for that. But in fact, too many other people were raised as consumerists and egoists, so giving something to them does not mean getting anything in return! Thus, the system does not work ideally, and as a result, we most frequently waste resources and time that we could have spent on our family, work and ourselves on fulfilling ambitions of others.
This mostly happens because we cannot say “no” in fear of offending our friends, colleagues or boss, while they in turn use our time to their advantage. How to avoid such inconveniences and waste? The answer is simple – never forget that you don’t have to:
- Be always ideal
- Follow the crowd and conform to public opinions and tastes
- Like people who hurt you
- Do anything to please people who you don’t like
- Go an extra mile for others
- Say sorry for being yourself
- Blame yourself for your wishes
- Put up with an unpleasant, stressful situation
- Preserve non-rewarding, destructive relationships
- Sacrifice yourself for the sake of others
- Do more than your free time affords
- Give away something that you don’t want to
- Fulfill unreasonable tasks and requests
- Do something that you can’t.
If you learn to manage such situations correctly and refuse those wishing to abuse your time, you’ll notice an immediate improvement of your well-being and self-esteem. You are likely to have more time for yourself and your personal matters, which will definitely make you happier and more content. Try this, it really works!
Learn to Respect Others’ Personal Rights
As a final thought: once you have recognized your personal rights and established effective boundaries to protect them, don’t abuse others’ rights as well. You should:
- Allow others to leave whenever they want
- Respect views different from yours
- Never try to possess people
- Allow others to preserve their self-esteem and self-respect
- Enable others to seek help the way they want
- Not experience envy or jealousy towards people dear to you
- Not insist on openness when others don’t want that
- Not pressure friends
- Allow others to grow without your help and participation
- Respect others’ time and personal boundaries.
The system of mutual respect is reciprocal, and once you stop doing something you don’t like and feel better as a result, you’ll understand why others also don’t want to make unnecessary sacrifices! So, don’t abuse the time and resources of people surrounding you, and your time and resources will also be preserved.